Throwing Myself Into Life

I still haven’t made decided whether I’m going to stay home or take a teaching position in Saudi Arabia, and time is running out.  Tomorrow I’m going to get my finger prints taken for my background check which will take about 2 weeks to process and then that’s it, I have to make a decision  So, for the next 2 weeks I’m going to throw myself into my life here.  The plan is to pretty much do anything and everything.  I’m going to sign up for online dating (stories later?), be as social as I can, test out a job that I just started, and really see what life would be like if I stayed.

I started a part-time, super flexible job working as a paralegal for a woman I really like, unfortunately the pay isn’t great, but I really enjoy having lots of flexibility with my schedule.  I think one conclusion that I’ve come to recently is that I care less about what I’m doing for work and more about the life it lets me have.  The idea of a 9-5 office job with 2 weeks vacation a year terrifies me.  My idea is that if I stay home I will keep working part-time as a paralegal, gain experience, and become a real estate agent.  My mom is a broker who co-owns a real estate office, which would help me get started in the business.

What really appeals to me about this plan is that I can make money and still have the flexibility (and hopefully the funds) to travel pretty much whenever I want.  The money situation does worry me because I don’t know how much I could make doing real estate and the part-time job isn’t enough to sustain me, but it could work out really well. Of course, I can start doing real estate at any time, including after a stint overseas.  My fear is that if I go and and don’t like it enough to stay for another year after my initial 6 months, I’ll come home with my bills paid but no money in the bank, have to go through the job hunt again, and likely won’t find a situation that’s as flexible as the one I have now and with someone I enjoy working for.

Something else I’ve been contemplating are the highs and lows associated with living abroad.  I love travelling, exploring new places and cultures, but living overseas tends to be an emotional roller coaster.  I’ve had my highest highs and my lowest lows while living abroad, especially during my time with Peace Corps. I’m just not sure I want to jump back on that roller coaster right now.  Being at home is easy and doesn’t have my emotions in constant flux; its steady, comfortable, and so am I.

And then I think, am I being a total wimp? Should I just jump into the adventure that living in Saudi Arabia is sure to provide? Will I regret not going? I don’t know. So, I’m going to continue working on my visa, and live my life here while I decide what it is I really want.  I was speaking with a friend recently who gave me something to think about. She basically said that our generation over thinks things and we should just make decisions, stick with them, and see where we end up and not stress so much about making life decisions.  I like this advice, and while I’m still thinking, the plan is that in 2 weeks I’ll be forced to make a decision one way or the other and make the best of whatever path I choose to follow.

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